Have you ever completely and unexpectedly beaten your expectations? Not only that but you’ve just knocked the ball right out of the park? I've been having that happen a lot recently.
Every year I do some work to distinguish where any lack of results in the past year were the result of fear and lying to myself. I use that hard-edged ‘clarity’ to create a new context I can train myself in for the next year.
As you know, last year was a doozy, so this time when I did the work I ended up with a context that I never expected – in fact, it flew in the face of pretty much my whole belief system. I created the context of “Being Unambitious” (and it's essential corollary, “Intuition” … more on that another time).
I’m a great believer in the idea that we are all born with a Leitmotif (a recurring theme in our lives that we are endlessly brought back to exploring).
I’ve written a lot about this before but the basic idea is that that you are born with constraints and possibilities in your spiritual biography as much as you are in your physical biology – your body. We have a lot to say about how our body grows and evolves from birth to death, but not everything! You’re genetics also matter… well, I believe that so does your Leitmotif (if that statement piques your interest, READ THIS).
So, for me, being unambitious is is a bit like putting this belief to the test.
If I really listen to what’s going on inside and around me, can I get better at following my Leitmotif? Will I be drawn to those things I should be doing instead of trying to force outcomes that are not mine to have? Will that make my life more fun? More relaxed? Will I become more successful in the areas that really matter to me??
So far, I have to say, this little experiment with my life is really paying dividends. Here’s a small but cool example.
Break your ‘Personal Best’
At the gym today I broke my personal best for a lap on the stationary bike by 2 seconds! Yippee!!
Might not sound much but it was a real surprise to me. I’ve not been training much since last year and what’s more, in keeping with my new context, I had set myself a very unambitious target I knew I could hit easily.
The results weren’t the lesson.
The lesson is how I got there. That’s what blew me away.
Halfway through my set, two men from my group got excited about my efforts and decided to help. They stood behind my bike, egged me on and gave me tips. With their support, despite myself, I ended up giving it everything and just loving it. I had so much fun and I broke my best-ever time.
The little lessons we hear if we listen
I’m working really hard untangling my addiction to being something special (some vision of ‘success’ I’m pretty sure I inherited from other people). Instead, I’m trying to listen to what’s really important; what there is to do right now; where I need to say ‘no’ and from today; where to get support!
SUPPORT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!
Those two men got me going places I would never have gone on my own. We all know this in theory but today really brought home just how much of a difference it really makes. Not only to our results but more importantly to our experience of getting those results.
I want to enjoy my life and there has been wayyyyy too much stress and anxiety in it for way too long and lessons like this are showing me the path to having a lot more fun – and I suspect more success also.
2021 is about finding ways to distinguish between the experience of something and what’s actually going on, and today I realised that getting the right support is a big part of that!
I’ve realised that I often don’t focus on getting support very much – it’s a secondary goal (and I’m starting to suspect that, as a consequence, I don’t offer it as much as I believe I do either). So that’s my goal for now: finding support in every area of my life.
I invite you to have a look also!