Sonny Neale's Website

Do you feel you're "in the zone"? Do you want to be?

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 01:34:02 -0700

Do you know what it feels like to be "in the zone"? Do you want to feel like that again, when everything you do seems to work like magic, things align and you can almost feel the power?

It’s a great place to be. We all want it. I once even did a 3-month program called “Being in The Zone: How to get into it and stay in it”. They taught me how to get my integrity in my life and then everything works… that’s true, but it’s deeper than that.

I've come to realize that the experience of being in the zone has less to do with you and more about whether you are fulfilling your Leitmotif or not (see HERE if you’ve not yet read about the Leitmotif, the recurring theme of your life). Another way of putting it is your purpose, but that doesn’t really encompass the idea.

You’re born with both a Biology AND a Biography

We all have a biography (a path) that’s as given to us as our biology. It’s not that we can’t have a profound influence on our physiognomy, how we look at 70 has a great deal to do with how we lived our lives, but...Read More

What's progress mean to you? In your life, are you progressing and how do you know?

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 08:44:31 -0700

How do you measure progress in your life? The evidence from the literature on productivity clearly states that seeing that you are making progress is a critical factor in sustaining good work and keeping teams positive and strong. Well, the same is true for maintaining your sense of self and mental health throughout your life. You need to feel like you are progressing… but toward what is the question, and the fact is that what you are progressing towards should change with age!

0-7 Incarnating into the Body (The world is Good)

Loss of Teeth

7-14 Discovery of Self (The world is Beautiful)

14-21 Discover the World (The world is True/False)

Adult – Expansion

21-28 Founding a life (Testing oneself)

A Leadership Vacuum

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 08:03:16 -0700

There is a vacuum of leadership in the world. You might have noticed. It’s obvious in politics but it’s also happening in our institutions, workplaces, and schools. We’re seeing an extensive range of leadership qualities, really good and really bad… but mostly we’re seeing less of it!

What does that mean for you?

It means there are lots of opportunities for people in their middle years willing to step up! But are you willing?

Until recently there was an unexamined assumption that people would take leadership opportunities if they were available, fight for them in fact. The reality is turning out to be more complex.

The employment market is hot right now, and even hotter for good, young (under 50) leaders. The world needs us, but compared to demand, supply is just not keeping up!

I was talking to a federal politician the other day and they were lamenting the lack of young leadership quality in their party. I talk to school leaders, academics, principals, and senior bureaucrats. While people are stepping up, there’s just not the clamor for taking leadership roles everyone expected there to be.

You're clutching too tight...

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 07:52:40 -0700

Are you clutching too tight?

A bit of what I see happening in COVID recovery… and maybe with you too!

My wife had her first ever cello lesson at the age of 45 yesterday and that’s what the teacher told her.

Turns out you can’t make a good sound when you clutch too tight…

Have you ever tried too hard and clutched too tight? Are you doing it now?

We often do it when we’re worried, either because we feel we don’t have the required experience (which of course, my wife doesn’t when it comes to a cello)… we also do it when we’re stressed or worried.

A friend rang me yesterday to ask about my experience of living in Perth. She said that living in Melbourne right now feels tense. Everyone is clutching too tight.

Like with the cello, you can’t make good music when you clutch too tight.

The Fifth Great Myth of Collaboration

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 07:48:42 -0700

There's a lot of bullshit about collaboration!

It seems that the more we ask people to do it, the more we hedge it around with misconceptions and inappropriate expectations.

I've written before about the four most common myths. This fifth is probably the most pernicious.

HEROIC LEADERSHIP

Almost by definition, leading collaborations is not all up to you, yet somehow we still fall back into the idea that it takes one great individual to make it happen.

There is always a (small) core of deeply passionate, committed people who are willing to be accountable for outcomes beyond their responsibilities at the heart of an effective collaborative effort, but whenever I see a great project that relies on an individual to keep moving forward I wince... it's unsustainable and they are not collaborative leaders!

What makes a Collaborative...Read More

What if we never get all our staff back in the office again?

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 07:12:25 -0700

It wasn’t fear or panic that underlay this comment by my friend. It was closer to bemusement, an inquiry. What he got in the conversation with me was that they’ve been holding off on restructures and difficult conversations until they all get back into the office – to how they did it before. There is a growing recognition that we will probably never get all their staff back in the office.
The implications of this are a lot more profound than you might think at first glance.
Take that piece out and the edifice that is 'work' is changed fundamentally.
We don't see that because the concept of work itself is so entwined with 'going somewhere' to do it that we can't see the pieces of onion we're picking out for the bolognese sauce.
Like so many things we've taken for granted (democracy itself perhaps), the bits that are shifting are SO fundamental we can't see that everything else rests on them until we look... or, if you'd prefer, just wait and see what happens I suppose.
I'd rather feel like I have some agency in the evolution of our future, and I suspect you would too. If so, read on.
The Evidence
Is my friends' expectation that we may never really have those water-cooler conversations, let...Read More

Are you tired? Maybe it's not Lockdown or COVID? Maybe it's because we just crossed an Event Horizon?

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 06:52:01 -0700

My father used to talk about the 1960s as a 'watershed'; where a whole bunch of social trends coalesced to create a profound and permanent shift. I used to argue the point but it a worthy prism to look at what's going on right now...
What's going on right now??
Firstly, we're tired. I'm tired. Many of my clients are tired. We're learning to pace and take better care of ourselves and others, but many of us are also looking for the source. Is it just the lock-down? I reckon there might be a bit more going on.
2020 is a bit year. A watershed perhaps. Why? Really!
The Experience
I like Nick Mehta's take on the experience of 2020 so far (CEO of Gainsight). He recently deemed 2020 to be a new adjective that describes “a combination of sad, happy, depressed, hopeful, lonely, reconnected, anxious, grateful, frustrated, and cautiously optimistic." He dispensed with “Fine,” as his standard response to “How are you doing?” and replaced it with, “I’m feeling 2020” instead.
Can you relate?
There’s a story my 5-year-old loves about a doll who has the power to make wishes. Wishing is how she communicates and influences the world.
As we enter the end of phase one of the COVID-19 journey, it feels a bit like some of us are doing that. What’s the ‘new normal’ we want, how can we influence it? What are we wishing for?
For some of us, this is an inspiring and exciting prospect. For many of the people I work with, they’re exhausted. The bow-wave of implications from the last 6 months have yet to truly manifest and we’ll be untangling the implications for years to come. Creating anything in that space seems too early, overwhelming, or both.
1. Let Things Emerge
When I was younger, I delivered a coaching program for people who wanted to consciously create their life. We’d create a vision of life at 80 and work backwards. It was a spectacularly successful program and lots of people (me included) got a lot out of it.
As I got older I started to doubt whether it was making the difference I thought it was. The whole approach started to feel ‘off’, a bit like wishful thinking, so I canned it.
A few years ago, with a few years under my belt, this program morphed into Midlife Creation (Read More

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 06:29:14 -0700

How to play games that create collective solutions to complex problems.

I recently lead a series of scenario-games with university students. Each game took about 90 minutes to play and participants get to experience the first-hand the challenges, and perspectives, of people and institutions they would never normally be forced to empathise deeply with.
Representing five different interest groups in the water sector, the players negotiate outcomes over 15 years and try to 'win' the game (through promotion, profit, environmental flows, re-election, etc) butalso ensure the health of the whole system.
Achieving both outcomes is not always easy!
In the game, it is possible to poison the water, starve the environment, price people out of the system and accelerate Climate Change – and still die of thirst. It’s also possible for everyone to win… (in theory at least 😊).
It’s been a wonderful experience for me, the lecturers and the participants to experience the water system in operation – with skin-in-the-game.
Years ago I ran similar games through Swinburne University for senior leaders to experience the international governance system...Read More

Soberly Optimistic for 2021? Why is that?

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 06:09:12 -0700

At my friend’s 50th Birthday party the other day, her 63-year-old sister apologised for how she had treated her as a little kid. That may not sound like much, but it meant a great deal to them. The younger sister hadn’t realised the upset she’d been holding onto and burst into tears. The older sister had the experience of a great weight she hadn’t realised she was carrying being lifted off her shoulders.
They were close before. They’re a lot closer now.
This story is a little reminder to us all to make an effort to resolve the past and enjoy those we love before the funeral, but it’s also a little example of something I think is happening more broadly across our whole society.
Why are so many of us feeling Soberly Optimistic?
Last year was a bit like a stress test; put some pressure on and you’ll see where the cracks are. Not a comfortable experience, but potentially a healthy one. This year is starting very differently. This year is starting with a flavour of sober optimism.
When you think about it, that’s weird because the future looks more Read More

Sonny Neale's Website

Do you feel you're "in the zone"? Do you want to be?

What's progress mean to you? In your life, are you progressing and how do you know?

A Leadership Vacuum

You're clutching too tight...

The Fifth Great Myth of Collaboration

What if we never get all our staff back in the office again?

The Evidence

Are you tired? Maybe it's not Lockdown or COVID? Maybe it's because we just crossed an Event Horizon?

What's going on right now??

The Experience

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

How to play games that create collective solutions to complex problems.

Soberly Optimistic for 2021? Why is that?

Why are so many of us feeling Soberly Optimistic?