Big people actively seek unworkability in their lives.
Smaller people spend their energy defending that their lives are already working.
How many of us actively look for things that don’t work in our lives?
So what’s this got to do with changing people?
We are hard-wired to have opinions and then forget they’re opinions, then wonder why people act certain ways around us… when we knew beforehand they would!
We relate to people like they really are the people we think (know) they are when what’s really going on is a dance between you. When you give up your opinions it’s like you step away from the dance… and suddenly no-one knows the next step, and something new becomes possible.
We’re all just sparks of consciousness wrapped in meat...
My partner said this to me the other day in the context of coaching me before a conversation I was nervous about having. I was about to call someone I knew was judgemental, opinionated and uncaring – a bully basically. I was angry with them for being that way when they didn’t have to be.
Suddenly I found we were having this amazing conversation, ranging across topics that had been taboo for over a year. Now I feel I can call them about anything. They’ve gone from being a barrier to my work to a partner. Our relationship transformed, all because of one pesky little opinion…