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What to do with Regrets

How to value them and use them to create your future

“Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption”
 Frank Sinatra

I was sitting with a friend of mine on a beach talking about the progression of our lives and we started discussing regrets. We all have them, we all know we shouldn’t, but hey… we do.

Some of the choices we made we should think of as 'bad' we accept with good grace - quitting that degree, leaving that marriage, starting that failed business. By contrast, some 'good' things we did we can't seem to let go of.

Looking from the perspective of the material world, this is inevitable - some things worked, some didn’t. In some we can see the lesson, om some we can’t. We can try to be philosophical but it can be hard.

When you’ve worked with as many people’s biographies as I have you start to see things a bit differently.

The circumstance may (will) vary from person to person, but the lesson itself is invariably the same

Your soul has a journey to undertake and it (you) needs opportunities to learn and be directed in particular ways. One way or the other, your soul will find a way to learn those lessons.

I tell my clients that by going through my program what they value in their lives will change. Non-material things will become more valuable. This can be confronting - I know for me, giving up my commitment to the visions and attachments of 'success' as a younger man has been very hard.

A tale of three souls

I once knew a man who made a mint early in life. At 36/7 his business nearly collapsed and he went through a dark period of soul-searching and entered his 40’s with a new perspective on what his life was about. It was a breakdown with money that gave him the access to discovering a new set of values.

Whether he had lots or little money left in his 40’s made little difference to the insights he experienced and the trajectory he then chose for his life.

Another friend quit a corporate life and went surfing for 2 years at 37. By the time he was 40 he also had made a transition in himself. With little money to start with my friend experienced his crisis of values differently - but the lesson was the same!

A third person (and this is common) got very sick in her mid 30’s. At one point, facing the reality of dying, she had to make a clear choice to live. Again, she re-calibrated her life along a new set of values from that moment on.

For her, it was neither money, nor career, but health that brought her crisis to a head.

In all three cases, a new set of essentially non-material values emerged through these experiences. In a life-biography (which we start our program with - HERE) some version of this crisis must be experienced at about this time in a person's life - EVERY PERSONS LIFE!

Sometimes we can avoid it or suppress it with drugs or distractions, but it will always happen and the lesson, if not the experience, will be invariably similar.

It endlessly amazes me because we love to think of our lives as unique and self-directed.... and they are... to a point. However, on the soul's journey, we are all on, the stages are the same for everyone and there is immense power and freedom in distinguishing how you experienced these lessons, and what they say about your unique journey, and your unique gift.

On this foundation you can build a deeply satisfying and joyous life of service for your long second half of life.

So, regrets… I have a few, but I’m on track with the game that really matters… and so are you.

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P.S. Whenever you’re ready to look at new ways to take charge of the second half …. here are here are four ways we can help:


1. Request some articles on how to take charge of the second half of life by discovering you Leitmotif (the recurring theme of your life) email me


2. Join our private group on Facebook: a great place to share and learn from other’s sharing, get ideas, ask questions and hangout with others the same place you’re at


3. Get a free pre-order of our book (just pay shipping). It’s called “Midlife Creation: how to take charge of the second half of your life. Just email “BOOK PLEASE” and I’ll send you a copy when it is published (around December).


4. If you want to ask some questions or get a sense of how to start looking for your own Leitmotif you can book a quick private chat with me HERE(pls note you can't register into a program this way, but you can check me out and see if we click)